Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize