thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
