In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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