im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
