we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
