On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
ok first of all what the fuck
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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