she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
