I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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