the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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