why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
