All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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