i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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