hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
