some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
