You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We need a shit load of segways right now
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
