Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
