tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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