stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
