Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
