i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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