what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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