I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
