Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
