? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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