I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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