So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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