no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
