Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
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I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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