i think i have two assholes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
