in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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