Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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