Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
