Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
is it fun? or sober?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
