He had one of those small greek statue penises
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
