Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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