dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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