i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
