the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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