you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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