If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
