There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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