Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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(713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke. http://tfl.nu/gwfs

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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(405): defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far. http://tfl.nu/t2l0

Replies (24) Good night (4471) Bad night (1531)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?

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(215): It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right? http://tfl.nu/00h0

Replies (12) Good night (3313) Bad night (943)
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(360): View more from Washington

it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing

(206): View more from Washington

and semen

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(360): it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing (206): and semen http://tfl.nu/0fmk

Replies (14) Good night (4534) Bad night (1009)
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(281): View more from Texas

Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.

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(281): Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low. http://tfl.nu/mevg

Replies (5) Good night (962) Bad night (1362)
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(607): View more from New York

You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.

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(607): You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive. http://tfl.nu/27zg

Replies (27) Good night (2922) Bad night (789)
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(219): View more from Indiana

If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!

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(219): If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?! http://tfl.nu/j506

Replies (9) Good night (839) Bad night (2117)
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(805): View more from California

It's like a toaster oven for my penis

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(805): It's like a toaster oven for my penis http://tfl.nu/6tvc

Replies (7) Good night (1019) Bad night (569)
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(720): View more from Colorado

At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years

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(720): At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years http://tfl.nu/t2xh

Replies (0) Good night (760) Bad night (539)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home

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(250): not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home http://tfl.nu/i7w6

Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (463)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed

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(215): If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed http://tfl.nu/cmm2

Replies (16) Good night (946) Bad night (1632)
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(309): View more from Illinois

You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.

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(309): You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable. http://tfl.nu/j22p

Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (558)
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(509): View more from Washington

In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...

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(509): In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched... http://tfl.nu/ted8

Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (303)
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(925): View more from California

Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won

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(925): Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won http://tfl.nu/tzi6

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(303): View more from Colorado

I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face

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(303): I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face http://tfl.nu/o8jb

Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (267)

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