the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..