Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

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(646): View more from New York

he just put it in my mouth and said "go"

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(760): View more from California

Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha

(1-760): View more from California

I hate my life

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(407): View more from Florida

My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?

(937): View more from Ohio

Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.

(419): View more from Ohio

Is that considered a cock block?

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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(858): View more from California

The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard

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(916): View more from California

we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night

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