Texts From Last Night

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  the bitch is dead man

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  YOUR DOG DIED?

  (243): View more from

  no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.

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  (243): the bitch is dead man (1-243): YOUR DOG DIED? (243): no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon. http://tfl.nu/0e8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1364) Bad night (609)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level

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  (256): that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level http://tfl.nu/kj4c
  Replies (16) Good night (4772) Bad night (877)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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  (416): Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order http://tfl.nu/9jwa
  Replies (12) Good night (5193) Bad night (1205)
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  (805): View more from California

  The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.

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  (805): The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery. http://tfl.nu/hbuh
  Replies (7) Good night (1295) Bad night (4375)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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  (303): They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome. http://tfl.nu/wbzs
  Replies (23) Good night (4178) Bad night (940)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

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  (250): She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood. http://tfl.nu/8qzi
  Replies (9) Good night (612) Bad night (2304)
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  (347): View more from New York

  So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.

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  (347): So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me. http://tfl.nu/ap85
  Replies (6) Good night (1743) Bad night (592)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me change into clothes i can run in

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  (586): you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer (1-586): Ok let me change into clothes i can run in http://tfl.nu/bmel
  Replies (10) Good night (2843) Bad night (588)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas

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  (210): The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas http://tfl.nu/zrzb
  Replies (8) Good night (1417) Bad night (656)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later

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  (732): Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later http://tfl.nu/qouw
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (850)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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  (806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (914)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.

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  (206): If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/sboa
  Replies (15) Good night (1623) Bad night (412)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Never mind I found pizza just bring sex

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  (216): I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex (216): Never mind I found pizza just bring sex http://tfl.nu/1kkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1759) Bad night (512)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

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  (202): Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund. http://tfl.nu/7pae
  Replies (8) Good night (353) Bad night (1071)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.

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  (315): He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over. http://tfl.nu/jd2f
  Replies (1) Good night (244) Bad night (532)

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