Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices. http://tfl.nu/qbzj
  Replies (5) Good night (1526) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  farters have to be the big spoon...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): farters have to be the big spoon... http://tfl.nu/5j3w
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (2788)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt? http://tfl.nu/7oa6
  Replies (97) Good night (786) Bad night (4250)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza http://tfl.nu/fivz
  Replies (53) Good night (26802) Bad night (2195)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk. http://tfl.nu/xfwn
  Replies (8) Good night (785) Bad night (5599)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out. http://tfl.nu/f1nl
  Replies (43) Good night (17297) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know? http://tfl.nu/zvg4
  Replies (17) Good night (3391) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him http://tfl.nu/0tzl
  Replies (6) Good night (1734) Bad night (2404)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book http://tfl.nu/reox
  Replies (5) Good night (2334) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, you are the most awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket. (1-704): I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court. (704): Dude, you are the most awesome. http://tfl.nu/z7ku
  Replies (17) Good night (3219) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab. http://tfl.nu/lb7r
  Replies (7) Good night (1448) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy http://tfl.nu/8tz5
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college. http://tfl.nu/nxrm
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus http://tfl.nu/z4ro
  Replies (1) Good night (1037) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wish drunk me came with subtitles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I wish drunk me came with subtitles http://tfl.nu/t49l
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (222)

Randomize