Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
