More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
ttyl tear gas
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
