How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
