Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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