Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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