arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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