Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you never un-have a 4some
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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