If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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