I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
