chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
