I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he shaved USA in his pubs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize