He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
