A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
