Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
