the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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