Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
