im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
