Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
