i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize