Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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