i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
