he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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