Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
