a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize