i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
